Sunday, October 23, 2005
~Say very sorry.....~
Sorry sorry sorry!
Sorry to spoil your night and your morning too. Sorry to make you worry. Sorry that I'd almost made you cry too. Sorry I told you not to isolate yourself and think but I did it myself.
Sorry for everything!
I know you said not to keep things to myself. But sorry I can't do it. That's how I've been living my whole life. I rather bottle up everything inside myself. I guess that's the reason why you say I'm the "kai xin guo", 'cos I would never show my unhappiness and burden you guys with it.
I know you said that that's what friends are for, to share your burden. But I still rather keep it to myself. To me, it's good enough to know that I have friends like you. You guys are precious!
I'm sorry to show you guys this side of me. Sometimes I think I'm just being stupid. And that's probably the reason I do not say my problems out loud as well. I think I am embarressed of myself even. The more I think it through....the more I would blame myself. It's an internal struggle I'm having with myself.
I think I'm soooooo childish. It's time to knock some senses into myself and grow up. I think I've been living life too "pamperedly". Wishing everything would go smooth, well and in my way. I think I'm hoping for a fantasy life.
It's no longer "Daphne, don't cry." It's "Daphne, wake up! Grow up!"
I hate myself.....................
P.S., Don't worry guys, I'll be fine. Maybe it's just PMS.
I penned @ 8:50 pm
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